i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
