I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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