PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
