There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
