with your own penis?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
