She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
