Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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