she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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