TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
