is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
