What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
