oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
that's an acceptable place to lick
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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