You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When did angry sex become our thing?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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