I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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