i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
