Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize