I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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