I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
