Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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