didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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