Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
even my farts smell like vagina
home. puking in laundry basket.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
