Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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