Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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