i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
