Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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