hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
