In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
