So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
