Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
