Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
