What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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