me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
