So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
worst night to have a conscience
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
