mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize