You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This house was built for laser tag.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
