I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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