saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
