Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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