Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
