I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
