i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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