Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
