if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
