i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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