Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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