I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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