my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize