I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
