Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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