Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize