Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
