This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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