Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
