after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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