Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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