North Korea, Best Korea!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
