Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
