It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize