and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
