Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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