I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
