How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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