she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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