somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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