Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
