By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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